The method

I find it hard to get over some things. 

I find it hard to get over anything– particularly when I’m trapped beneath it. 

Struggling, straining, screaming, against it–While simultaneously aching, aiming, and pining for it. 

I am exhausted and enraptured by my emotional contradictions –I sprint to the finish, I am going this alone. 
I am loving.

 I am living. 

I am continuing my story. 
God damn. I’m lost. But, I am. 

Poetry, Uncategorized

Spelunking Solo 

Emotionally unavailable 

You wrap around my mind

Flirting with disaster

Falling deeper

Falling faster

Falling deeper for another

For whom I am “the other”

There’s no possible way

That I can settle for this

So we’ve hit rock bottom

And I’ve started to dig. 

I suppose I’ll be proceeding alone. 


out now

It wasn’t yours. 

A burden, perhaps – yes

For me, as well. 

One that I saw in my eyes 

Every morning, noon, night. 

A mistake. Forgiven. Forgotten. Meaningless.  

A secret. 

But not yours to share beyond these walls. 

Beyond this bond. This agreement. This pact. 

Not to be spoken aloud. 
But now that’s done. 

It’s out. Your fault. 
Now, when I see it staring back

It will be from the eyes of another. 
Another who is not involved 

Who does not understand 

And was never supposed to. 

It wasn’t yours. 

And now it’s not mine either. 



High atop my wire 

I balance

Considering my choices

Past and present

One foot in front of the other 

No return to safety 

The fear of falling – constant 

Hanging in the balance


A steady breeze, a strong word

Enough to end it

A constant battle 

Emotional and physical feats 

I’m done with this circus 

Fine defending my actions

Done defending the cuts that run deep

Done defending this entire affair

Forget it? Impossible 

The highs of the single strand

The bone crushing lows of my fall 

But move on?

I must 


Parallel Lives – to Regret or Rebuild

Heartless until it breaks
I’ve made a terrible mistake 
Bending the rules to your needs

Twisting my words – Cutting me deeper 

Insisting and manipulating

With beautiful simplicity 

Rolling around in your victories

Head high atop my own slump 

Everyone’s hero

And everyone’s victim 

Careless, thoughtless, and endless

Yet gathering ammunition for a spirited demise

But were you ever a kindred spirit?

A love, a friend, a guide?

What have I done?