Emotionally unavailable
You wrap around my mind
Flirting with disaster
Falling deeper
Falling faster
—
Falling deeper for another
For whom I am “the other”
There’s no possible way
That I can settle for this
—
So we’ve hit rock bottom
And I’ve started to dig.
I suppose I’ll be proceeding alone.
I’m short with you because you cut me down
When I’ve already been cut enough
I don’t need another knife in my back
Another keeper
Another judge
So keep it to yourself
And I won’t tell you how I’m feeling, either–
Because honey, don’t even get me started.
A human
A heart of fool’s gold
I open in earnest, I express, and I trust
An unearned guilty conscience
Suspicious of my own reflection
A body of contradiction
There’s nothing left to know
But you don’t understand
Nothing left to show
And you still can’t see me
Blue in the face for nothing
Yet you define me
Trapped in the details
Endless words left hanging
Thickening the air
It’s impossible to breathe in here
I care more than you’ll ever know
Though I am more than what I seem
I always seem to be what you say
the other side of the bed
is where i keep my heart and my dreams
and my bag and my keys
when you’re gone
my heart on my sleeve
of the sweater i wore earlier
lay there as well
feeble cableknit weight
attempts to occupy the void
i dream of sprawling
using the space
but i stay on my side
leave room for phantom heartache
my thread count matched by memories
counting sheep
counting excuses
waiting
forget a companion
any other would find too hot, too near, too far
an unsuitable cotton environment
i miss you,
down to my linens
Sing, Little Bird 